Morneau After Pill, The Papelboners, I’ll Kiss you on the Strikes if you Kiss me on the Balls, Ricky “Out for a Couple” Weeks, DingleBarry Bonds, Keith Hernandez and the Porn Stache All Stars, and then some.  The list of great fantasy baseball team names posted on this site would cause even the most prudish owner to crack a smile.  I believe it’s time to pay homage to our collection.  If you haven’t seen the full list of hundreds of names and counting, check it out by clicking here.

Baseball players’ last names are heavily involved here.  The wide variety of players’ last names allows for some great play on words opportunities.  From Japanese names we have top rated “Honey Nut Ichiros” and “Letters from Okajima.”  Hispanic names have produced a slew of posts, including “I Don’t Practice Renteria,” “Bartolo Colonoscopy,” and “Funky Cold Molina.”  I don’t know where the last name Doumit comes from, but I do love the team names “Doumit, Doumit, and Doumit Well” and “God Doumit I Stink!”  I also appreciate “Aaron Harangatang,” “Jeter’s Never Prosper,” and “Willie Ever Coach Again Randolph.”

Some fantasy baseball contributors have even combined players’ names to produce some extra witty team names.  “Byrnes When I Peavey” sets alone at the top of this list as a reader favorite.  “Put Colon on for that Snell” is one of my personal favorites.  “I’m Not Bedarded, I’m Just Slowey” and “The Good, the Vlad, and the Uggla” have also been rated among the top fantasy baseball team names.  Also of note in this category is “Beurhlington Cotts Factory.”

Albert Pujols has a name that is just crying to be manipulated.  Combine that with the fact that he is a fantasy beast and Pujols becomes the most common character in fantasy baseball team names.  In our list you will find “Pujols is Better than One,” “Big Unit In Your Pujols,” “My Pujols Byrnes No Lyon,” “Itchy Pujols,” “Wright in the Pujols,” “A-Rod In My Pujols,” “Who Peed In the Pujols,” “The Dirty Pujols,” and “Pujol’s Dirty Poo Holes.”  That’s just excessive.  I do have to give props to RunorDie for using three different player names in five total words with his contribution “My Pujols Byrnes No Lyon.”

The enormous affect of Steroids in baseball has somehow been magnified by fantasy baseball owners.  Everyone loves a good steroids-based team name.  From our list I like “Steroids to Heaven,” “Preperation HGH,” “The Roids of Summer,” “BALCOpulation,” and “Human Growth Hotdogs.”  This list will continue to grow as the enhancement drug scandal continues to weigh on the sport we love.

I hope this site continues to be a helpful and growing resource for fantasy owners from all sports.  Check back in regularly because we’re always adding new names!

It’s that time of year again - Fantasy Magazines stock the shelves at airports and your favorite book store, Yahoo has opened and is advertising its fantasy football drafts, and all your football friends are talking about their projections for Adrian Peterson. Fantasy football is in there air and some sickos will even be drafting soon. And then there are super-sickos like me who run fantasy sites and have been mock drafting since February. Whoever you are, if you’re really into fantasy football then that special feeling should be back in your gut. And if you’re really into humoring your league with your team names, which is the case for many people on this site, then this year’s team name(s) are already on your mind. Here are a few things to keep in mind while you’re brainstorming for a funny fantasy football team name:

1. Don’t Beat a Dead Horse (or Dog ((sorry)))

There’s really only one thing to address in this category - Michael Vick. They were funny last year, but pretty much every league had at least one Vick name. As of June 27th we have a total of 88 fantasy team names and 10 of them pertain to Vick - Bad Newz Kennels, Vick’s Doggy Daycare, Convicks, Mike Vick’s Penal Adventures, Ookie’s Pit Bulls, Ron Mexico’s Puppy Farm, Ookie’s Puppies, Insert Vick Joke Here, Eat a Vick, and My Vick in a Box. These are just worn out after last season. It’s also just too easy. I probably shouldn’t include Vick in a Box because that one is actually pretty fresh, kudos to CleeShay.

2. Current Events Always Make Great Fodder

The fresher the better - except maybe in Superfan’s case with “Javon Walker’s Self Defense Studio,” which was suspiciously posted on the 18th while Javon was still laying in a Vegas gutter… I kid. I much prefer DonForney’s “Bill Belichick’s Video Rentals.” That’s current events wit at it’s best. Weil0054’s “Marshawn Lynch’s Driving School” also gave me a laugh. Ocho Cinco’s offseason antics should be good material for some of you witballs but I haven’t seen much there. Marvin Harrison in a gun fight? There are plenty of funny fantasy team names to be had here.

3. Player-Focused Team Names Stand Out

Just look at the highest rated list on the fantasy football team names page for proof.  Some gems - “Travis Henry is My Dad,” “Big Ben’s Missing Teeth,” “Ki-Jana Monologues,” “Tomorrow Never Addais,” and “Tatupu Platter.” Twelve of the top 20 use player or coaches names.  I’m not sure why these work so well, perhaps because they are so targeted and sport-specific.

4. If You Can’t Think of Anything Funny, Just Be Gross

If you’re drawing a blank you may as well give your league mates something disturbing to read every time they go check their lineups.  rnuber1’s “Ann Coulter’s Period” takes the cake in this category so far.  “So, Johnny, who are you playing in Fantasy Football this week?  Johnny - “Anne Coulter’s Period.”  “The Renis Pinkles” and “The Brown Skidmarks” are also nice examples.  They obviously get a lot dirtier but I probably shouldn’t mention some of them in the blog.

Thanks to everyone who has submitted team names so far, espeically the ones mentioned in this article (the non-Vick ones, that is).  Please keep the funny fantasy team names coming.  I’m looking forward to seeing more of these trickle in as everyone decides on their team names for this season.  Good luck in your drafts!

The world of fantasy sports presents countless opportunities for fun and entertainment. One of the most enjoyed yet unheralded parts of the game is the fantasy team name. I would actually be ashamed to know how many hours I’ve spent thinking about team names. (I would also be ashamed to show the list of team names that I have come up with to anyone in my immediate family). The team name really should be an important part of the game for any competitive player. Not only does it serve to entertain you and your league mates, it is also how you are going to be identified in your league. My friend Adam is no longer Adam when it comes time for me to offer him a trade, but instead he is Kaz’s Anal Fissure. If you’re playing in a public league then the only thing your leaguemates are really going to know about you is your team name, making it even more important.   Do you want to make them laugh?  Gross them out?  Make them aware of your favorite team, political preference, beverage preference, sexual preference, etc?  Your team name is your best vehicle for doing so.

So, with all that in mind, I bought this domain and paid a friend in Costa Rica, Juan, to help me design a site that will give some love to Fantasy Team Names. If we can get this thing populated with some good names I think the site will be both entertaining and a helpful resource if you get stuck trying to think of a team name on your own. The current design is a first run at it and I definitely plan to add more features once I figure out what they should be. If anyone out there has any good ideas and cares enough to tell me about them then by all means just post a comment to one of the blogs and I’ll see if we can get it done. I’ll be using this blog from time to time to highlight great team names, talk about promotions, etc.

Alright, the site is just about done, now I just need to work on getting some people in here to post some names. If you’re reading this please take a minute to create an account and post your favorite name or vote on others!